Dangers of the mind once were all too real for me. In theory, most often times, the preconceived notions about depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and discouragement develops when a person becomes more aware of one’s self-perception. Unfortunately for me these issues began early on my life. My journey deals with the vicious mental cycle I endured most of my life. Without the love and support of my family but most of all “The Grace of God”, I would not be able to minister this message. By sharing my testimonial story I hope to encourage, inspire, uplift, and most importantly bless you as the reader.
In the demanding society of today, especially in the “Urban Culture”, conditioning a child to walk, talk, and act a certain way to fit in or be labeled “normal” is all too common. In school if you are tall you played basketball. If you are short and heavy you played football. If you wore glasses people were under the assumption that you’re smart. I didn’t fit the mold of an average young teenager growing up in the inner city, going to a predominately African-American public school. It’s a struggle to fit in being a well-spoken young man of mixed-race heritage admiring everything surrounding the Arts, Culture, Marine Life, and most importantly a lover of all God’s Creations. The demand was starting to take a mental and physical toll on me. I was losing myself at this point in my life. I began to feel like being myself would willingly force me to become ostracized. So I tried to change everything about myself just to fit. I started doing things that were outside of my character. This was the worst decision of my life!
A few years had passed and I look up its 2005, senior year of high school. I lied to myself for so long I started to believe the person that I had become was who I really was. I covered my low self-esteem by making others laugh to take the focus off me. I started eating excessively to cope with my depression. the end of my senior year I tipped the scale weighing in at 300 lbs. I had no college plans, no core values, ultimately lacking true skills to succeed in the real world. I was so overwhelmed with life I even contemplated suicide. I Thank God, for he for saved me from myself. To no surprise I didn’t attend college right after graduation. My incredulous thoughts discouraged me from following any dreams I once had as a child. Then for a year straight I did nothing but hangout and party from time to time. However, chain of events would later occur that would change my state of mind in most profound way.
Fall of 2006 my life changed forever. One day my mother came home wanting me to take a ride with her somewhere. At first I made up some excuse to why I couldn’t go. She knew that I was unhappy and seen my soul was blue. Persuading me to go, we began our travel to the destination. Upon arriving to the location I was informed that we had an appointment to meet with a professional inside the building. Walking up to the facility I realized we were at The Art Institute of Indiana. For the first time in my life I felt I belonged there. the visions of artwork around me became so inspiring. I signed up for school with no hesitation. While attending The Art Institute, I began to recognize that the environment I placed myself in and people I interacted with had altered my self-perception. I started spending time with people who were liked-minded as myself. The Art Institute offered me much more than a degree; it gave me a feeling of self-worth again.
I finally started to escaped my dangerous mental cycle. I went on to become a strong man of character and faith. Not to mention I am 140 lbs lighter. I now am one who is confident, compassionate, articulate, and standing strong on my beliefs. I now walk in purpose trying to uplift and support anyone who has a passion or a dream. God allowed me to go through this journey so that I can give my testimony and assist someone in need. You too can escape “Dangers of the Mind”.